We have an adolescent here who, totally against our wishes, went out and bought a phone. In the months he has had it, his behavior has deteriorated. He spends hours texting and chatting at the expense of everything and everyone else. He makes plans without telling anyone here and is likely to announce some big idea five minutes before he is being picked up by a group of friends. He sneaks off when he has chores to do so he can answer texts. He drives while talking and texting. Hw comes home and shuts himself in his room all evening while talking on the phone, then gets mad at his stepbrother who wants to go to bed. The supposed "benefits" of that little piece of technology have been far outweighed by the deleterious effect it has had on him.
Not only that, but there are some possible health effects:
"In July, the University of Pittsburgh made headlines with a warning to faculty and staff: Limit your cell-phone use because of possible cancer risks. The message from the Cancer Institute director recommended that children use cell phones only for emergencies because their brains are still developing."
That, of course, is way beyond any kid's ability to think through. There is hardly next hour, let alone 5 years down the road. Giving a kid free rein with any technology will, as it has in the past, lead to problems as yet unforseeable, in health, safety and responsibility. This could be demonstrated by the growing kid-interest in the postings about "I text and drive and haven't had an accident" on a social networking site. Well, so what, young lady? This is a demonstration of your maturity and level of responsibility? In this old lady's opinion, you are demonstrating just the opposite. You show a lack off responsibility that would, if you were my child, give me every reason to take away your car, your phone and 90% of your privileges.
Unfortunately, in the case of the phone here, there is nothing we can do. Since he had someone else's mother drive him to the store while we were taking a short vacation, paid for the phone himself and pays for his minutes, we have no control over how he uses it, when he uses it, or who he talks to. This has led to some problems, as well. He spends so much money on the phone that he seldom has enough left to take care of his day-to-day responsibilities. His father has had to bail him out, repeatedly, in the past. (I think this was a bad idea, but I don't have any real say in the matter.) There are bills pending at this time that he may not be able to pay, either. It should be interesting to see how he manages.
I feel, perhaps wrongly, that parents are using cell phones as an easy way out. It is easier to give a kid a phone, regardless of the problems, than it is to behave like a responsible adult and just do what must be done to make sure the kid is where he needs to be when he needs to be there. At this point in time, the school will allow a kid to use the office phone to contact parents if there is a schedule change. No phone needed for that. We have had several instances of that cell phone being used to attempt a bait-and-switch maneuver so the kid can go running around for hours with friends. In each instance, the parental flags went up and teachers were contacted. Then the real story came out. (The situation improved some when one of the teachers was informed that, if the situation didn't improve and he didn't start showing more maturity and reliability, he would be pulled from all extracurricular activities. She panicked and made it clear to him that he'd better get it together or we would drop the boom on him. Another instance was a "missing the bus that left early" scenario. The co-ordinator of the shuttle program was contacted immediately, he looked into the situation and, lo and behold, the bus didn't leave early, the kid had been seen somewhere other than where he said he was doing something other than what he said he was doing. From that time on, the drivers were all on the lookout for him. It didn't happen again.) All this because of his ability to make plans on the spur of the moment without anyone's knowing anything about it.
Maybe this all just reflects on this one kid, but I doubt it. He isn't the best kid in the world, but he isn't the worst, either. Kids "try it on" and we know that. I just don't feel it is vital to give them any more tools for doing that kind of manipulation than they already possess.
* from CNN: Cell phones for kids
No comments:
Post a Comment