Eletelephony | ||
~Laura Richards | ||
Once there was an elephant, Howe'er it was, he got his trunk |
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Filed under: Favorite Things
The Pain Factor
I went to the chiropractor this morning. After getting whacked back in shape and having my hip shoved back in place, he said:
Huh? It's true, I was in some pain but not so much that I couldn't get around.
It did get me to wondering about something, yet again... Do women really have a much higher tolerance for physical pain than men? Or is it an individual thing?
After every major surgery, I was up and around within hours after getting home. I'm not saying it was fun or that I felt like competing in a marathon but I was up and doing.
Most women don't stay in bed when they have the flu or a bad cold. Most women of my acquaintance don't even bother to complain about how rotten they feel. Most men of my acquaintance snivel like they had come down with Pneumonic plaque or Ebola.
Taking an aspirin when you have a headache just seems like an intelligent thing to do, Why do some males act like they're dying from the headache but still refuse to take and aspirin?
Going to the doctor when you've sprained your ankle is also a good thing. Get that brace on and continue as usual. Don't hobble around like somebody just hit you in the knee with a sledge hammer emitting a high keening noise for days because you have a sprained ankle.
Being asked "Does it hurt bad" when in the midst of labor is a really dumb question and would result in numerous broken noses if it weren't for the intervention of nurses and a tangle of IV tubes.
Getting burned is part of cooking. Fat spatters, liquids slop, things splash. Get over it.
"I don't know how you walked in here with that hip so far out and your back all tensed up."
Huh? It's true, I was in some pain but not so much that I couldn't get around.
It did get me to wondering about something, yet again... Do women really have a much higher tolerance for physical pain than men? Or is it an individual thing?
After every major surgery, I was up and around within hours after getting home. I'm not saying it was fun or that I felt like competing in a marathon but I was up and doing.
Most women don't stay in bed when they have the flu or a bad cold. Most women of my acquaintance don't even bother to complain about how rotten they feel. Most men of my acquaintance snivel like they had come down with Pneumonic plaque or Ebola.
Taking an aspirin when you have a headache just seems like an intelligent thing to do, Why do some males act like they're dying from the headache but still refuse to take and aspirin?
Going to the doctor when you've sprained your ankle is also a good thing. Get that brace on and continue as usual. Don't hobble around like somebody just hit you in the knee with a sledge hammer emitting a high keening noise for days because you have a sprained ankle.
Being asked "Does it hurt bad" when in the midst of labor is a really dumb question and would result in numerous broken noses if it weren't for the intervention of nurses and a tangle of IV tubes.
Getting burned is part of cooking. Fat spatters, liquids slop, things splash. Get over it.
Hmmm
Things I noticed while out and about include:
A white car apparently driven by nobody turning directly in front of a another car. Turns out there was a tiny, little fuzzy-haired old lady driving the white car. She probably didn't see the other car because she was so little she was looking between the steering wheel and the dashboard.
There seem to be a lot of McCain supporters in town. Or, at least, there are a lot of signs in evidence.
Farmers are still not back in the fields. Too wet.
I'm not the only female who finds herself talking to air when trying to converse with the Male.
Some people can put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5. This is quite a feat but not so much as keeping a straight face as they are doing it.
It's a good idea to read the directions when using an unfamiliar device.
Age and grey hair don't always equate with wisdom.
Males, on average, prefer to do things the hard way even when there is a much easier way to do them.
FEMA sucks.
Radio Shack is still better than any Big Box Store.
There are always weird things along the side of the highway.
You can't be naughty out in public because someone who knows someone who knows you will see.
Young males who walk around in public with their boxers hanging out shouldn't be surprised when they get nasty comments from old ladies.
Women seem to have a lot more intestinal fortitude than men.
Some people are just born mean.
PJ O'Rourke is right a lot of the time. Sean Hannity is wrong all of the time.
Neighbors are all fine and good as long as they keep their noses out of one's business.
Getting frustrated in traffic is an exercise in futility.
Gas prices are going down while the price of everything else is going up.
High fructose corn syrup may be the bane of modern life.
A white car apparently driven by nobody turning directly in front of a another car. Turns out there was a tiny, little fuzzy-haired old lady driving the white car. She probably didn't see the other car because she was so little she was looking between the steering wheel and the dashboard.
There seem to be a lot of McCain supporters in town. Or, at least, there are a lot of signs in evidence.
Farmers are still not back in the fields. Too wet.
I'm not the only female who finds herself talking to air when trying to converse with the Male.
Some people can put 2 and 2 together and come up with 5. This is quite a feat but not so much as keeping a straight face as they are doing it.
It's a good idea to read the directions when using an unfamiliar device.
Age and grey hair don't always equate with wisdom.
Males, on average, prefer to do things the hard way even when there is a much easier way to do them.
FEMA sucks.
Radio Shack is still better than any Big Box Store.
There are always weird things along the side of the highway.
You can't be naughty out in public because someone who knows someone who knows you will see.
Young males who walk around in public with their boxers hanging out shouldn't be surprised when they get nasty comments from old ladies.
Women seem to have a lot more intestinal fortitude than men.
Some people are just born mean.
PJ O'Rourke is right a lot of the time. Sean Hannity is wrong all of the time.
Neighbors are all fine and good as long as they keep their noses out of one's business.
Getting frustrated in traffic is an exercise in futility.
Gas prices are going down while the price of everything else is going up.
High fructose corn syrup may be the bane of modern life.
A dirty little secret
You know that handy box in your kitchen called a refrigerator? Yeah, the big thing that may, or may not, dispense ice and water, hums in the middle of the night and keeps your leftovers cool until they mutate into a previously unknown and frightening form of life? Yeah, that thing.
Well, that thing has a secret. A dirty secret, hidden away in the dark.
Underneath the fridge is a place of gloom, inhabited by dustbunnies, lost pencils, stray green beans and dirt. And when I say dirt, I mean Major Dirtage.
How many times a year do you, Gentle Reader, pull your fridge out and clean under it? Or in back of it? Or beside it? Not too many, I'd be willing to bet.
By the time the fridge gets moved, the area around it and beneath it will look like cleanup day at the landfill.
So. Just remember this: Don't Move Your Refrigerator. Ok?
Well, that thing has a secret. A dirty secret, hidden away in the dark.
Underneath the fridge is a place of gloom, inhabited by dustbunnies, lost pencils, stray green beans and dirt. And when I say dirt, I mean Major Dirtage.
How many times a year do you, Gentle Reader, pull your fridge out and clean under it? Or in back of it? Or beside it? Not too many, I'd be willing to bet.
By the time the fridge gets moved, the area around it and beneath it will look like cleanup day at the landfill.
So. Just remember this: Don't Move Your Refrigerator. Ok?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
