Soaring birds, carrion-eaters, graceful in flight. Dipping, floating.
Wind child strokes pond's surface, riffles spreading.
Clouds build, massing.
Peepers sotto voce, chorus muted.
Raucous geese, cries stilled.
Wind child, tired, calms.
They who soar, flee before the thunder.
Clouds, grey, frowning.
Rumbling, rolling, kettle drumming skyward.
Patter drops of water falling, slowly first.
Wind child rouses, gathers life, drawing strength.
Tall trees whipping, Wind child's breath.
Pond roiling, mirrors sky.
Before the storm.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Boo hiss
We have no electricity in our bedroom. Mind you, this is not a major big-deal problem, more like an annoyance. Or an itch you can't reach. That kind of thing.
Something went *zit* a couple of nights ago when I turned on the tv. A very large *ZIT* noise, actually. Then all the outlets in the room went dead. The ceiling light worked, though. Circuit breaker was fine. Just dead outlets.
Himself tried to change out the box that fried but there is some kind of jinky wiring problem. I don't know who the electrician was that wired this house but they must have been on some pretty good drugs.
I currently have the power strip for my bedside lamp, clock and phone charger on an industrial gauge extension cord. It slightly resembles an orange anaconda, snaking across the hall from the bathroom, through the hallway and into the bedroom.
At least we still have water....
ETA: After 4 or 5 tries, the outlet is now working properly. And, even better, nobody got fried in the process.
Something went *zit* a couple of nights ago when I turned on the tv. A very large *ZIT* noise, actually. Then all the outlets in the room went dead. The ceiling light worked, though. Circuit breaker was fine. Just dead outlets.
Himself tried to change out the box that fried but there is some kind of jinky wiring problem. I don't know who the electrician was that wired this house but they must have been on some pretty good drugs.
I currently have the power strip for my bedside lamp, clock and phone charger on an industrial gauge extension cord. It slightly resembles an orange anaconda, snaking across the hall from the bathroom, through the hallway and into the bedroom.
At least we still have water....
ETA: After 4 or 5 tries, the outlet is now working properly. And, even better, nobody got fried in the process.
Monday, May 5, 2008
I heard what you said but I don't know what you meant
I have been thinking about the communication lapses between most men and the women in their lives. This "communication gap," as it were, causes a whole lot of problems and may be the trigger for bad things, like divorces or affairs.
My personal observation is that most men simply do not pick up on subtle verbal or physical clues. The nuances that women rely on to communicate are beyond the pale for most men. It isn't that they aren't observant but they don't perceive things in the same way we do.
They may seem to, or actually might, during that very first stage of the "mating game," but when their brains return to normal after the endorphin wears off they lose the ability to get it. It's at that point that women begin wondering what the hell happened to that guy with whom they fell head over heels in love.* I've been there and done that and it's an unsettling state of affairs.
A good friend explained what's up with men a couple of years ago by telling me to just think of them as being "Patrick" the starfish character from SpongeBob. What you see is what's there. There aren't hidden nuances, no agendas, they don't get alliteration nor do they converse from point A directly to point M then go back to point B. They're straight out A to B to C. That's it.
The men I know don't like sitting in on women's conversations. They get confused and that makes them mad and then they get testy. They usually lose the thread of the conversation after about 6 sentences. Even ones who don't have control issues don't like feeling as if they're stupid and not getting it. Most women don't have any intention of making them feel bad, nor do we mean to confuse them. We just communicate differently.
We don't understand how we can go somewhere, doesn't matter where, and they simply don't notice the same things we do... The resulting play of words goes something like this:
A joke I heard recently demonstrated the difference between communication styles. One of the lines was that "if we says something that made you feel sad or hurt your feelings, we meant it the other way." Just that simple.
Men usually don't notice subtleties of vocal speech, either. Inflection, word order, pauses, all that kind of "clue-stuff" that women unconsciously use to interpret what someone is saying. They honest-to-goodness don't! A remark we might make with a subtle inflected "hint" is totally misunderstood. They didn't get that "hint" part. (If we have something to say, we'd better just say it right out there.) A woman would get that inflection, maybe a subtle pause or a slight emphasis and it's so natural to us that we forget that those guys just don't.
They also don't really understand body language. They may remember that if you are sitting stiffly in the car with your arms folded looking fixedly out the window, they're in trouble for something. They won't know what they're in trouble for, most likely, but they will know that things are looking bad. That seems to make them feel guilty or something and that makes them testy, as well. Now there is an upset female, a guilty and testy man, and a fight is imminent. Posture, arm position, stance of the head, all those clues that we use to translate, are beyond them. It simply is not information that they can process. They may remember certain clues but don't usually pay much attention unless they are obvious enough.
They also tend to mistranslate certain things. They may interpret a simple attempt at conversation as a "come-on." This is a weird thing but that's just the way it is. They aren't picking up on the clues that would indicate to a woman that this is only a conversation, nothing more. Women tend to lean toward each other when talking one-on-one. Men see this as interest of a completely different kind. Women also seem to look directly at each other when talking. Men interpret this as a come-on a lot of the time. They don't normally look at each other when speaking. Watch a group of men interact, doesn't matter where it is, just watch them. They simply do not look at each other much.*** For women, not looking at the person who is speaking to you is extremely bad form. For men, it's the way it is.
This communication gulf between the sexes became crystal clear to me a year or two ago when talking with a contractor. We were discussing the dimensions of the new front steps one afternoon. Things were going very nicely until I made one of the cardinal mistakes in inter-gender communication: explaining "why." If the contractor had been female, continuing on from the very basic dimensions would have been just fine.**** As it was, the contractor became confused by my description of what I intended to do with the surrounding area after he finished the construction. To him, there was a complete disconnect between the concrete facts of the step project and anything that would happen after that. To me, one thing had everything to do with the other. The shape and size of the new steps would dictate how the landscaping would be laid out and what type of plants would be used to compliment the construction. The project was finished on schedule and on budget, but he spent considerable time looking askance at me, probably wondering if I was on the verge of "explaining" something else to him.
I will think about all this more, Dear Reader, but for now I shall bid you adieu.
* It's at this point where the "being in love" and loving someone must be a conscious decision on our part. Ain't the same thing at all, Gentle Readers, you can bet your life on that.
** Sometimes the urge to pinch their heads off is almost overwhelming.
*** It kinds of reminds me of dogs. They don't look directly at each other because that is interpreted as a challenge.
**** Bill is not a female. Things went badly from that point on.
My personal observation is that most men simply do not pick up on subtle verbal or physical clues. The nuances that women rely on to communicate are beyond the pale for most men. It isn't that they aren't observant but they don't perceive things in the same way we do.
They may seem to, or actually might, during that very first stage of the "mating game," but when their brains return to normal after the endorphin wears off they lose the ability to get it. It's at that point that women begin wondering what the hell happened to that guy with whom they fell head over heels in love.* I've been there and done that and it's an unsettling state of affairs.
A good friend explained what's up with men a couple of years ago by telling me to just think of them as being "Patrick" the starfish character from SpongeBob. What you see is what's there. There aren't hidden nuances, no agendas, they don't get alliteration nor do they converse from point A directly to point M then go back to point B. They're straight out A to B to C. That's it.
The men I know don't like sitting in on women's conversations. They get confused and that makes them mad and then they get testy. They usually lose the thread of the conversation after about 6 sentences. Even ones who don't have control issues don't like feeling as if they're stupid and not getting it. Most women don't have any intention of making them feel bad, nor do we mean to confuse them. We just communicate differently.
We don't understand how we can go somewhere, doesn't matter where, and they simply don't notice the same things we do... The resulting play of words goes something like this:
- "Did you see such-and-such?" "What?"
- "Arlene got her hair colored and she really looks great." "Was Arlene there?" or more likely "Who's Arlene?"
- "What happened between X and Y? Are they divorcing or what's going on?" "I don't know. Is it important?"
- "Remember So-and-So from the Jones' party last year? They are going to Outer Mongolia on an archeological expedition and it's so exciting! Wouldn't you love to do something like that?" "Huh? Who's So-and-SO?"
- "This was a good day, got a lot done." "Um-hm."**
A joke I heard recently demonstrated the difference between communication styles. One of the lines was that "if we says something that made you feel sad or hurt your feelings, we meant it the other way." Just that simple.
Men usually don't notice subtleties of vocal speech, either. Inflection, word order, pauses, all that kind of "clue-stuff" that women unconsciously use to interpret what someone is saying. They honest-to-goodness don't! A remark we might make with a subtle inflected "hint" is totally misunderstood. They didn't get that "hint" part. (If we have something to say, we'd better just say it right out there.) A woman would get that inflection, maybe a subtle pause or a slight emphasis and it's so natural to us that we forget that those guys just don't.
They also don't really understand body language. They may remember that if you are sitting stiffly in the car with your arms folded looking fixedly out the window, they're in trouble for something. They won't know what they're in trouble for, most likely, but they will know that things are looking bad. That seems to make them feel guilty or something and that makes them testy, as well. Now there is an upset female, a guilty and testy man, and a fight is imminent. Posture, arm position, stance of the head, all those clues that we use to translate, are beyond them. It simply is not information that they can process. They may remember certain clues but don't usually pay much attention unless they are obvious enough.
They also tend to mistranslate certain things. They may interpret a simple attempt at conversation as a "come-on." This is a weird thing but that's just the way it is. They aren't picking up on the clues that would indicate to a woman that this is only a conversation, nothing more. Women tend to lean toward each other when talking one-on-one. Men see this as interest of a completely different kind. Women also seem to look directly at each other when talking. Men interpret this as a come-on a lot of the time. They don't normally look at each other when speaking. Watch a group of men interact, doesn't matter where it is, just watch them. They simply do not look at each other much.*** For women, not looking at the person who is speaking to you is extremely bad form. For men, it's the way it is.
This communication gulf between the sexes became crystal clear to me a year or two ago when talking with a contractor. We were discussing the dimensions of the new front steps one afternoon. Things were going very nicely until I made one of the cardinal mistakes in inter-gender communication: explaining "why." If the contractor had been female, continuing on from the very basic dimensions would have been just fine.**** As it was, the contractor became confused by my description of what I intended to do with the surrounding area after he finished the construction. To him, there was a complete disconnect between the concrete facts of the step project and anything that would happen after that. To me, one thing had everything to do with the other. The shape and size of the new steps would dictate how the landscaping would be laid out and what type of plants would be used to compliment the construction. The project was finished on schedule and on budget, but he spent considerable time looking askance at me, probably wondering if I was on the verge of "explaining" something else to him.
I will think about all this more, Dear Reader, but for now I shall bid you adieu.
* It's at this point where the "being in love" and loving someone must be a conscious decision on our part. Ain't the same thing at all, Gentle Readers, you can bet your life on that.
** Sometimes the urge to pinch their heads off is almost overwhelming.
*** It kinds of reminds me of dogs. They don't look directly at each other because that is interpreted as a challenge.
**** Bill is not a female. Things went badly from that point on.
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