Another trip to paradise

I really should listen to my instincts better. Went to town to do some pricing on school supplies and was feeling a little jittery or something. Didn't know about what so just went ahead. There is a lot of construction so there are multiple single lanes, it had just rained and it was a tad slickery. Traffic was about usual for shortly before noon, meaning there was lots of it and everyone was driving different speeds.

Got gas. Other than the price, no big deal. Then headed west on the highway through town.

This is where the fun began...

At in intersection a Chevy pickup, one of the 3500s, pulled out into traffic. Three young guys in the cab who evidently worked for the company the truck belonged to, a ceramic tile firm out of Waverly. The driver, who looked like he was old enough to be living in the real world, seemed to be having some sort of hallucinatory experience wherein he was Dale Earnhart [sic] racing at Talladega. He came roaring up through trafic, blowing in and out of lines of cars and trucks. At every stop sign, he screeched to a halt then, when the light changed, revved his engine, dropped his clutch and took off fishtailing down the road. The swerving was extreme enough that he was in and out of both lanes of west-bound traffic. This continued through a long series of stop lights. Needless to say, everyone was hanging quite a long ways to his rear, slowly creeping up on him at stop lights. I initially thought that the first fishtail was just one of those "fun" things but he obviously was caught in the grip of a powerful fancy... I don't know how long this continued because I got off the road as quickly as possible and breathed a sigh of relief.

The Little Girl Squadron also seem to be possessed of some type of delusion. Inexperienced drivers are scary enough but these girls? Mercy. One came blasting up a hill in back of me (I was already going 10 mph over the speed limit) and blew past me, also roaring in and out of traffic) like I was standing still. She hauled ass down the hill then back up, pulling into the right lane only when it looked like a head-on collision was imminent. She continued on, I turned.

There were more members of the LGS but they all were doing the same thing and they all looked like they were driving Mommy's fancy car while doing it. *sigh*

Then had another one of those "WTF?" moments when pulling up to a stop sign on my way out of town.

I first noticed the older Oldsmobile in the left lane because it had pickup mud flaps on it, the kind with the silhouette of the reclining "dancer." Then the whip antenna. As I got closer two largeish statue-things in the rear window. One was a white Alsation, I think. The other was either a recumbent howling wolf, a yapping coyote or some other canine species I am not familiar with. Then I noticed the fuzzy red dice hanging on the rearview mirror. And the leopard-print seat covers. By this time, I was wondering what in the world this was. As I pulled up beside the car, I glanced over at the driver. An older man, probably late 60s, with one of those scraggly and greasy looking combover jobs. He also had on amber aviator glasses. On a dark and cloudy day, nonetheless. A blue, yellow and white striped cotton shirt, sleeves rolled way up his arms. There was an assortment of unidentifiable objects lined up on his dashboard and he was smoking a cigarette. I am left to wonder if he was just thawed out of some cryogenic time capsule? Also, do you suppose he was wearing bunny boots with silver buckles?

There was an old guy on a lawn mower riding along Woodharbor Dr. Evidently he was concerned about being run over because an older lady was following him in a Cadillac. So all of us heading west putted along at about 5 mph, unable to get around. I am just wondering where he was going with that mower. I'm also wondering why he was going so sloooooow. It was a John Deere and the neighbor's goes about 15 mph at top speed.

And a little old lady in a new chevy in the middle of an intersection, halfway through a turn, stopped dead on the road. I don't know what she was doing there. Talking on a phone? Have a stroke? Adjusting her bra straps? She moved along down the road eventually, with me behind her. She turned east on 19th, I turned east on 19th. She button-hooked her turn and went way off onto the shoulder, then weaved back and forth all the way up past the country club where she sped up. I figured I might just as well get as far aways from her as possible so I moved over into the right lane to turn south on Taft. I was about 2 cars lengths away from the turn at Taft when she accelerated and cut me off. Good thing the brakes on the truckmobile work or she'd have been smooshed.

Figuring I had endured about enough of this kind of stuff and it was likely to get worse, I proceeded south on Taft to 43rd, east to Federal and then down to the Interstate. I'm home now and am NOT going back to town today.

Unless I decide I simply must have that Italian loaf and bottle of red wine for supper.

We'll see.....

You just never know....